i_speak_softly (
i_speak_softly) wrote2011-02-23 12:08 pm
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Thirty-Eighth Theory [Action]
[Before Don goes out this morning, he leaves a note on the kitchen table.]
GONE TO THE SMITHY.
BACK TONIGHT.
[Two days ago he was angry with his brothers for being overprotective, but today everything is different. He genuinely wants them to know where he is, because they've all just been reminded how suddenly a person can vanish.]
[Part of him thinks he should have just stayed home, but... April never wanted him to give up on his work, no matter how futile it seemed. With that in mind, he heads into the village to keep a promise. The promisee is gone too, this time kidnapped before he even started working, but he's going to keep his word anyway. It's not like his curse could cause any further disaster.]
[... Maybe.]
[At any rate, he'll spend the day making tuning forks, for reasons he doesn't entirely understand. While he works, he'll keep an eye out for Sokka. He needs to talk to him about... a certain matter.]
BACK TONIGHT.
[Two days ago he was angry with his brothers for being overprotective, but today everything is different. He genuinely wants them to know where he is, because they've all just been reminded how suddenly a person can vanish.]
[Part of him thinks he should have just stayed home, but... April never wanted him to give up on his work, no matter how futile it seemed. With that in mind, he heads into the village to keep a promise. The promisee is gone too, this time kidnapped before he even started working, but he's going to keep his word anyway. It's not like his curse could cause any further disaster.]
[... Maybe.]
[At any rate, he'll spend the day making tuning forks, for reasons he doesn't entirely understand. While he works, he'll keep an eye out for Sokka. He needs to talk to him about... a certain matter.]
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Donatello?
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Sokka. I was hoping you'd be here.
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Whaddya need?
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I heard you and Katara got called for the draft again.
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Uh, I guess. What is it?
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Yeah, I'll be sure to tell her. There's a few days before the fighting starts.
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Thanks. [He gestures around the smithy.] Can I do anything to help?
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Don't know. What can you manage in two days?
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[... and he's not sure he wants to do that.]
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What kind of gun would you want?
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[For that person, anyway. No so much the people left behind.]
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You don't have to believe me. But it's been pretty reliable.
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What are you working on anyway?
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... anyway, I've got stuff to do. Seeya, Don.
[Voice|Filtered 100%]
He was a bit of a mess today. But two days... that counted as "a few", right? Was it too soon? Was he just making an even bigger fool of himself? Robert didn't know... But he knew he needed to speak to Donatello. Because even a heavy alcohol binge while he was holed up in his room crying hadn't erased the feelings. Even hating himself for having them hadn't erased them. Even trying to suppress them as usual by methodically cleaning, cooking, writing, anything other than dwelling on it - it hadn't worked.
Perhaps, subconsciously or otherwise, Robert didn't want it to work. Maybe, for once in his life, he wanted to try. Luceti was insane enough. Maybe it was making him go insane too.
So he opens his journal, head still mildly aching from the aftereffects of the hangover he's nursing, and hits the "Call" button for Donatello's journal. He even musters up his best filter so far - if this call goes as terribly as he thinks it might, it's better to keep it quiet.
Donatello might hear his journal ringing. If he does pick up, he'll hear the following sad, strained little voice, full of a mess of emotions, most of them bad.]
... D-Donatello... May we talk?
Because... the feelings... are still there.
I-I... I apologize. [Robert knows
because he's an emotional failureDonatello hates him for them. Mostly he just wishes they would go away and stop ruining the few friendships he managed to make.][Voice|Filtered 100%] 1/3
[But when he picks up the journal, it isn't Raph or Leo's face in the window. It's Robert, looking anywhere but at the camera and mumbling into his lapels.]
[Don can't make out a word he's saying.]
Robert...? Hold on...
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Yes?
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But this would be the worst possible moment to run. Not that Robert hadn't run at the worst possible moment before - but he willed himself this time to stay. To... to face up to this. It was for Donatello's sake, and for the vague little hope that maybe Donatello wouldn't hate him for this.
Still, his first response is a question.]
I-I... d-did I call at a bad time? I apologize, I didn't... [Okay, he was babbling and that had to stop. Robert forces himself to calm down a little. Just a little. His voice is still shaky, quiet; maybe it's obvious how little he slept last night, he doesn't know.]
... I... You told me that... that if I still h-had feelings, to call you. In a few days. [He doesn't know if this is "a few" but...]
... and, e-er, this particular... situation's outcome has yet to change. [Robert's voice hitches a bit, almost breaks from anxiety. He can't help how he rambles a little, in a stuttery broken sort of way, that distracted way that he has when he isn't sure exactly what to say and tries to sound like he does regardless.]
I realize that you, er, p-probably don't... don't want to deal with me again right now and you have b-better things to do and surely you a-aren't interested in that - you probably don't even like humans anyway like that and it's likely much too soon, we barely know each other and...
[Robert falls silent, his cheeks burning. He kind of writhes in place.]
I... Gah. I... I just apologize for all of this. T-Terribly ridiculous of m-me.
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Robert... what kind of feelings do you have for me?
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Robert blinks, taken totally by surprise by that.]
W-Well. Er.
... Romantic ones. A-And just, general positive feelings... I, er, wouldn't want you to misinterpret that as... u-um, as me being shallow or... [Robert stumbles over his own sentence and clams up again.
He forces himself to breathe.]
... I-I understand if, if that makes you angry. I... I just... I just wanted to... ... to let you kn-know that I won't... I won't allow these to influence our... our d-dealings. I... [Robert wants to admit that he's scared. It would've been so much easier to, only a few days ago - to just pour that emotion out at his feet. And in a way that's terrifying; that something so fundamentally terrifying was so easy a little while ago.]
... m-mostly I wanted to... wanted to see if you could still... t-tolerate me.
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You're - really interested in me that way?
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Robert can never give one.]
Y-Yes.
... N-Not that it sh-should mean anything... untoward, of course... certainly you shouldn't h-have to pay any a-attention to it whatsoever if you d-don't wish to a-and...
[Robert clamps down on the urge to ramble on and on. He's actually panting a little from fear.]
Ah... I-I... I'm s-sorry, Donatello. You... You hardly need this, this nuisance from me.
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Robert, I - I don't know if I can. But - I could really use a friend right now.
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N-no, it's fine. It's... that's perfectly acceptable. I'm m-more than amicable to the prospect of being... being your friend.
[It's okay if it never goes beyond that. It's just some stupid crush, probably. A stupid crush he should not be having on a person that probably doesn't want anything to do with it.]
I-In fact, that... that was more than I had expected... [And that is true. At least... at least Donatello doesn't hate him.]
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I don't want to... k-keep you. [Robert has a lot to think about now. And cry about, perhaps. That rejection is stinging, cutting deep in a way that he hoped it wouldn't...
But the fact that Donatello hasn't totally rejected him is reassuring, to an extent. And it's why Robert doesn't feel as terrible as he thought he would.
Plus Donatello wants to talk again.]
... Please, call me whenever y-you'd like. I'm, er, usually not particularly invested in anything. [A lie, especially right now, but Robert really does want Donatello to talk to him again.]
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Or maybe that's just Raphael throwing the furniture around again. The impact of whatever he's just thrown makes the floor shake.
And Raph's screaming. It's impossible to make out what he's saying over the noise, but the anguish in his voice is palpable. It's a stark contrast from Leo's stern but far gentler tones struggling to cut through all the chaos on the other side of the bedroom door.]
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What's going on? Raph...?
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I don't know. I suddenly started hearing the noise. I've been trying to get his attention.
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Throwing the nightstand against the wall is like a killing blow in a fight. The wood smashes to splinters in his hand. The impact vibrates through his bones. And for a split second, he feels fucking wonderful.
But then it's gone and the spark of madness is sucked away from him in a vacuum until he finds his next target of destruction, his next momentary high.
The anger fogs his brain. Tunnel vision. The booze only enhances it, makes the vibrations send a shockwave explosive enough to jar his nerves. He stumbles as he grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey again and tries to down as much as he can in one swallow, relishing the way it burns in his chest.
That hurt. That's what he wants. He wants to feel, chase away that hollow feeling, fill himself with pain if he has to. Pain is better than emptiness, and he forgot how good it feels.
He knows his brothers are outside. He can hear Leo banging on the door, but he blocks it out. Only roars a battle cry as he flips his entire bed on its side.]
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[He'll bang on the door again, specially after that battle cry] Raph!
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He can't stop here. It doesn't end here. He's not done yet.
If this was home, he would have gotten his fill out on the streets, shown up a shadow in Casey's window thirsting for blood. Find the best punks - the gangsters and druggies with that desperate look in their eyes. Feral. The kind with knives and blades and aren't afraid to use them. Those are his favorite kind, the desperate ones. He can smell it on a man from blocks away, the kind of guy who isn't afraid to cut a limb that's offered to him. The kind of scum that will give you the hits you need.
Then he'd stumble back home, high on his own endorphins, bleeding and satisfied.
He can't find that here. Not in this land full of heroes. No. He had other ways of quenching that thirst.
He downs the rest of the whiskey in three swallows.
On the other side of the door, it all goes strangely quiet save for the steady throb of music and the sound of breaking glass.]
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Pick it, he could be hurt. [Or just passed out, who knows. Only one way to find out] I'm going in with you. [As back up, just in case.]
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Raph?! Oh, damn...
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Raph stands in the middle of the wreckage, a chunk of glass in one hand, and several bloody gashes across his bicep.
He looks up at Don with a glazed expression. Stunned.
Then, he explodes.]
[He rushes toward his brothers with a crazed look in his eyes, still holding the piece of glass.]
[He has to say it again. Again and again until they get it through their puny little heads. This is his room! His space! Get the fuck out!
The way he moves, he's obviously drunk. Dangerously drunk. It's completely erased his inhibitions, leaving him with nothing pure, raw, overwhelming rage.
The back of his mind whispers You're not empty anymore. The way he bares his teeth almost looks like a grin.]
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Don! Watch out! [He'll push the other out of the way, and make to grab for that wrist before Raph hurts one of them.]
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[Disarm and disable. Don't hurt him.]
[At least, not any more than he needs to be hurt. They've gone through this often enough to know how to bring him back.]
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Is that too much to ask for?]
Can't you read!?
[He struggles in Leo's grip and pitches forward, trying to body-slam him. It's probably the worst idea he could make right now, and it would do nothing to get him out of the hold. Even worse, the booze is starting to hit him. Hard. The whole world tilts sideways with the movement, and he winds up half-collapsing onto Leo's plastron instead, still trying to pull his way out of the hold.]
Let go 'a me!
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Raphael calm down, we're trying to help you. [He's stern, but there's worry in his voice as well. He's not seen Raph like this in some time.]
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Once he's steady, he thrusts a finger at Leo's plastron.]
Don' touch me. Don' touch me ever again, y-you fuckin' poser.
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I wasn't going to let you do something you'd regret, Raph. [Like attacking his brothers with that glass shard. His voice is calm and firm, since getting angry at an angry drunk was liable to make them angrier.]
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I haven't been parading around. I was telling you to stop and to calm down. You weren't thinking straight and I was trying to get you to listen.
[Given the situation, somebody had to try and get through to him. He was glad that Raph seemed to of calmed down at least a little. He wasn't trying to kick them out anymore.
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[He shoves at Leo's chest.]
Whatcha gonna do about it? Huh Fearless? [He tries to shove again, throwing more weight into it this time.] Huh!?
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[He looks around the wrecked room. This place isn't that safe for for them, much less a drunk person.] Raph go sit down in the living room. [Preferably before the other turtle falls down. He's hoping Raph will listen, he doesn't want him to get injured worse.
He looks to Don.]
Don get the first aid kit. He's bleeding pretty badly.
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It's not as bad as it looks.
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Leo's nothing but a green blob now. He has to squint to make sure it's him, make sure he's listening. Are you listening now, Leo?]
'M not goin' anywhere. This's my room.
[The room spins again and he sways dangerously.]
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Raph if you stay in here you could get hurt worse. [Which is what Leo's concerned about and why he wants Raph out of the room.]
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[He hangs his head and doesn't let go of his brother's shoulder. Everything's blurry and his face is hot. His brother's voices sound like they're talking at the end of a tunnel, and he can't make heads or tails of what they're saying. It's like he's having an out of body experience.
And he really needs to throw up. His chest heaves and he gags hard, but nothing comes up. Probably for the better, though, since he's aiming toward Leo's plastron.]
[Action]
He'll hold Raph up, no complaints there for now. He also watches Don clear space.] We're in here because we're your brothers. We're worried about you.
Alright no leaving. But you're still sitting down. [He'll move to get Raph sitting on the cleared floor.]
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Sorry, I must have forgotten how to read when I quit going to school.
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Y'sonnuva...fuckin' quitter.
[His head lolls forward his chest gives another heave.]
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I d-d-don' feel g-good. [He moans and heaves again. And even with his brothers' hands on him, he just can't stay upright.]
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Don, anything else I can get for him? [He's definitely wanting to do more to help.]
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Here Raph, this will help. [He'll help lean Raph back enough and help him, to drink the water if needed.
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I think we should move him to the couch, or our bed at some point. [He can't stay on the floor forever. Between him and Donny, they should be able to carry him to the couch]
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Nothing else. Everything all right at the forge?
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Where does he get all this?
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That's...what I would like to know. I think we need to start keeping an eye out in case he brings any more home.
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[Don taps his shoulder.] Raph... you ready to go out to the couch now?
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All right, you get his feet, I'll get his head. [He frowns in concern as he moves up to Raph. He wasn't looking good] And we'll need a blanket.
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Come on, Raph. You better not have given yourself brain damage...
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Don, now what?
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One. Two. Three. [At three they both lift him up off the floor. They get him out of the room, and out to the living room where they lay him on the couch.]
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Do you want to sit with him first or should I?
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We'll both stay with him. I doubt either of us will get any sleep tonight.
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[He'll take the other chair, without any further comment, and make himself comfortable.]