i_speak_softly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
i_speak_softly) wrote2011-02-27 10:09 am
i_speak_softly) wrote2011-02-27 10:09 am
Thirty-Ninth Theory [Action]
[The house is too quiet today. With April sent home, Derek hiding out who-knows-where, and Leo gone to battle, it's down to just Don and Raph again - and not in their little apartment now, but in a house that feels suddenly too big.]
[Fortunately, Don has some things to occupy himself with. After making sure Raph is all right to be left alone for a few hours, he heads out to visit some friends.]
[He goes first up the path to C7, to visit Frederic - to check on the man in his roommate's absence and to deliver a certain package.]
[After that he'll circle back to C3. He needs to see a certain resident that he's been visiting frequently of late. This time, however, he won't go around to the door of the apartment. Instead he'll knock on the window. There's something they need to talk about, and this seems like a more apt way to begin the conversation.]
[Fortunately, Don has some things to occupy himself with. After making sure Raph is all right to be left alone for a few hours, he heads out to visit some friends.]
[He goes first up the path to C7, to visit Frederic - to check on the man in his roommate's absence and to deliver a certain package.]
[After that he'll circle back to C3. He needs to see a certain resident that he's been visiting frequently of late. This time, however, he won't go around to the door of the apartment. Instead he'll knock on the window. There's something they need to talk about, and this seems like a more apt way to begin the conversation.]
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At the moment, he's in his room, trying to clean up as much as possible.]
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I won't bite, you know.
[Quit looking so scared to see him.]
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Can I bring you anything?
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When you comin' back?
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Raph...? I'm home.
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Go ahead and wake him up. He wants his freakin' pizza.]
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Hey, sleepyhead. Pizza.
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Took you long enough.
[He blinks hazily for a moment.]
Man, it got dark quick.
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[Don heads back to the kitchen and flicks the light on. It should be far enough away that the sudden brightness won't bother the still-recovering turtle.]
I ran into Derek.
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Hm.
[He flips open one of the pizza boxes, trying to decide whether he should bother asking if the guy's okay or not.]
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He bites into his slice and watches his brother fidget for a second.]
What's wrong with him?
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[You know it's bad when Donatello can't hold the thread of conversation for five seconds.]
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[He puts his pizza down, right on the counter.] Raph, we need to talk.
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Don, it's all right. We don't have to. Really.
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[Don buries his face in his pizza-crumb-flecked hands.]
I'm so obvious...
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Huh?
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[He peeks out from between his fingers.]
Raph, what do you think I'm trying to talk to you about?
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Not what I thought you were talkin' about.
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[He leans forward over the counter and fixes Raph with his gaze.]
Here's what we're talking about: I'm in love.
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What?
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Robert.
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[Wat.]
You're serious.
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[Yes, he's deliberately provoking things. He's come this far and he's not going to leave the conversation half-finished.]
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Who said I was gay?
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[Plan B: Outright denial.]
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Aw, Don, I - [He moves forward and reaches out, but hesitates before he can actually touch him.] I - i-it's just a lot to take in.
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[He folds his arms and shifts from foot to foot. Awkwaaaaaard.]
So... what're we gonna do about it?
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I don't know! I'm askin' you!
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Raph, I woke up in his bed last week and he still wanted to see me again.
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Waaaaaaaay too much detail there, Don-boy. But... [He lowers his hand, studying his brother's expression for a long while.] But okay. Okay good. Good for you. Uh... Congratulations.
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[He looks at the pizza, gone cold while they were talking.] I don't think I want this.
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[He looks down at the open pizza box.]
I can't eat all of it. My stomach's still mad at me. But I'm starvin'.
[He picks up his half-eaten slice again and takes a bite.]
Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.
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Have what you want.
[He hesitates a moment. Part of him wants to hug his brother, but another part feels it wouldn't go over very well right now.]
I'll be in my room.
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[Action] (can wait until other threads are done if you want)
He won't approach his former housemate for a while; probably not until it's obvious that Don is finally headed home. And then he'll follow for a bit before deciding to say anything.]
[Action] other threads are far enough
Who's there?
[Action] *Finally sneaks in*
[Derek will come out of the shadows. If it's still daytime, he's wrapped toe to head in clothing, including gloves, sunglasses, and a hat for his head. Hugh Jackman probably makes it look cooler, but it works well enough for Derek. Night time of course means that the hat and glasses come off, but not the gloves.]
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Derek. I wasn't expecting to see you.
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[Just in case.
As the sunlight fades to a safe intensity, the sunglasses and hat come off, leaving Derek merely looking bundled up. He's still ragged looking, but a little more alert.]
How're you guys doing?
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Dunno what to tell you about Raphael. Seems pretty determined to shut everyone out.
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Chasing your friends off and not having anyone at all are two different things. And he does have friends. As well as his brothers.
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[And a sudden subject change.] Derek, can I ask you a question?
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He'll pause at the question, though, then nod.]
Go ahead.
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[Very bluntly:] Have you ever been in love?
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[His expression is carefully neutral at the moment.]
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Derek stops for a minute, honestly surprised by the question. Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been this, and it takes him a minute to get his head in the right place for this.]
...I know what it feels like for me.
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Yeah, all right. Sure you want it out here in the middle of the street, though?
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Now how to sum it up in a few sentences.]
...you know how you love your brothers, right?
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Take that emotion--the base one, where you'll do anything for them, where they're family even if they aren't, and you have trouble even thinking about them not being there. Then add wanting to be around the person, even if your brothers aren't sure about them. Put on top of that wanting them in ways you'd never want your family...and then pile on a lot of respect, worry, and devotion that you wouldn't want to spend on just anyone, and probably won't.
That's the best approximation I can give you.
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...is this a good thing or a bad thing?
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Derek will stop too, to process this. And think. And think some more.]
...that's going to be tough on you.
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Tell Leo first. Maybe between the two of you...
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...Do you need me to stick around for it?
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...Good luck.
I'm happy for you, though.
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[And after taking a moment to unnecessarily rebalance the pizzas, he'll head down the last hundred feet of path to the house.]
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Oh hello Donatello, what brings you here?
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[And with a worried expression:] How are you?
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Thank you for finishing them, I'll be certain to show them to Helios. As for myself, I'm doing all right. Thank you for asking me.
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He's not back yet, is he?
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That's good... I'm glad you aren't alone here.
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Thank you for being concerned for me, Donatello. You're such a kind person even if we didn't talk very much the first time I was here.
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He glances up, looking mildly curious - and when he sees Don's face that curiosity changes to something between surprise and concern.
The scientist hurries (well, as much as he can hurry) himself over to the window and opens it, looking out at Donatello.]
A-Ah. Salutations, Donatello. [This is a very strange way to meet, but Robert can't deny he's glad to see the turtle again.]
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Can I come in?
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Something like a strained smile slips over Robert's features.]
Y-Yes, certainly. Please give me a moment. [And the scientist disappears from view temporarily as he opens the door. Donatello might hear the click of the door opening, and then a nervous-but-kind-of-excited-anyway scientist standing just off to the side of the door frame.]
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... Oh. Er... Well. [With a slight flush of embarrassment, Robert re-closes the door (mostly because he doesn't want to broadcast whatever happens) and heads over to where the turtle's standing underneath the window.]
... My apologies. I d-didn't exactly... expect that. [It's so painfully obvious Robert is extremely nervous - but in the blushy stuttery way of somebody trying to talk to a crush. Which is what Donatello is. A kind of shameful, self-mocking smile lights Robert's face a moment.] Do you often enter through windows? I would do well to remember that...
[He trails off eventually, still blushing a little, his fingers going reflexively to his glasses.] ... S-so, may I enquire as to what you... wished to see me for?
Th-though to be frank, I did wish to see you again... [And Robert's blush deepens a bit. Damn his crush.]
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... And what might that be, Donatello?
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... I'm a ninja.
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... A... "ninja"? [This term means literally nothing at all to Robert.
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A highly-trained practitioner of the martial arts.
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I apologize, Donatello... The terminology is not that which I am familiar with. [With what Robert's seen of the turtle so far, he's assuming "ninja" is some term for an intellectual-type job
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A person adept at hand-to-hand combat?
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... You? ... [He kind of looks at Donatello with an expression somewhere between "not again" and "well, that explains the scars".]
... It seems all of my friends here are warriors. [He sighs, softly. It's a sad, tired sound.] First Doctor Mizuno and now you.
Why? [Robert can't deny that... he still cares about Donatello. He... he still wants to be with Donatello. But this strangeness, this aberration... what causes it?] I know how wonderfully intelligent you are, Donatello. What reason would you ever have to harm another?
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There is no way to reason with them? Surely people will listen to that.
Surely your world can't be that backward. [It's more to reassure Robert than anything else.]
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... On Terra you would be treated with great respect. It... I don't understand, Donatello. [And when Robert says that - genuinely says that with the weakness evident on his face, in his body, in his voice - then one knows he's really run into a mental impasse.]
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I needed to tell you this before - before things went any further. I understand if you want to change your mind.
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... Well, Donatello...
I... you are one of the most... [He struggles for a word that doesn't sound stupid. This is so much harder to do when Donatello is right there and Robert isn't running off of love-event emotions anymore.] ... awe-inspiring intellectuals that I have met in a long time, and... [He inhales, slowly, then hesitates.]
... You don't mind that I'm a human? I... I thought you... I thought you wouldn't be... interested.
... B-But... Regardless. [His cheeks are burning a little again.] I... I can't say I understand a world like that, Donatello. Not yet. I... cannot fathom why you would need to fight, why someone intelligent and kind and personable like yourself would be threatened with bodily harm. It... It makes no rational sense.
But if it is your world... well, I am glad that you are not in it right now. You and your family hardly deserve a world like that.
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[It's both an explanation of why people would want to hurt them, and an attempt at very indirectly hinting why he might be interested in a human.]
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That explains everything, very suddenly. Like the final twist of a Rubik's cube, everything falls into place.]
... Ah...
[Robert looks up at Donatello with an expression of surprise and - now - curiosity, mixed with what might be traces of anger. At humans. At the disgusting pre-Terran humans who would be willing to be such abominations toward a perfectly wonderful being.]
... Proto-Terran humans. Disgusting. Barely worthy of the species name, "sapiens".
Bloody hell, Donatello. I had no idea... I thought, I thought perhaps you were a member of a whole species. [Genuine anger flickers across Robert's face, directed clearly at humans from Donatello's time.] Barbarians, treating you and your family that way. I... I apologize for my pathetic excuses for ancestors. They prove time and time again that they cannot be trusted with anything important.
[Robert sighs a little, more to vent excess rage than anything.]
... But... how exactly did your family come into being? Were you perhaps a product of black market genetics? [Robert knows that dark underbelly of Terra better than he'd care to admit. He'd seen entire departments fall to it.]
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We started out as ordinary pet shop turtles. But there was - an accident, and we were exposed to a chemical with mutagenic properties. We -- [He hesitates, then decides to leave his father out of the story for now.] Many years later we found out the source of the mutagen. It was a byproduct of an alien teleportation device. The aliens had been in hiding on Earth for a thousand years, since their spaceship had crashed, leaving them stranded in a technologically-primitive world.
[He pauses again, looks at Robert.] Our world still doesn't have contact with extraterrestrials. These aliens are in hiding too. No one knows about them. They help us when they can, but... they can't change human nature.
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And so you are essentially the sole representatives of your subspecies - so to speak. [It... it was something that should have made them prized, something like a spontaneous crystal generation - something rare and wonderful. Instead, it made them reviled.]
I... [Robert forces down his anxiety and reaches over to the turtle's weathered green hand. He kind of gently catches the two fingers with his own slender hand - it's a weak, timid handhold, but it's an attempt to be genuinely reassuring. The touch makes fear flare up inside him. You're getting close, Robert. Probably too close.]
... I am sorry, Donatello.
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We're - still friends?
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[Robert steels himself for the next part, because it's been gnawing at him and he can't be subtle. He can only be painfully, horribly blunt about his feelings.]
A-And, and I wouldn't be opposed to... to eventually going b-beyond that, if... if you were willing.
[He blushes fiercely then and looks away, but doesn't let go of the turtle's hand.]
I-I... it's... it's just been a long t-time, for me. A long time being with... anybody. [He stammers, far too much - he sounds ridiculous, he knows he sounds ridiculous -] N-not that I was ever with a non-human before, b-but, just, at all.
I-I... I don't know if I would... be acceptable for you, anyway. [He wasn't good enough for Benjamin. He wasn't good enough for anybody else.]
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[And after a long pause:] I've never been with anyone.
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You... you deserve to be with somebody. Somebody wonderful.
I-I... I'm hardly that. [Robert's gray eyes are misty.] B-But... you would still... consider it? [Hesitantly, because Donatello shouldn't be saddled with Robert when he could probably do so much better.]
... you... You will need to explain so much to me. About your world. About... about being a ninja. I won't understand it well... But... I can... try.
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[Another little smile.] I'd like that.
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It's been way too long since he's felt these kinds of feelings - real ones, not ones given to him by the Malnosso - and Robert's afraid, afraid of what they mean. Afraid of what they might lead to.]
... Ah, Donatello... ... Don. [The name sounds foreign but Robert says it anyway, because he remembers quite well that Donatello liked it better.]
... I... I just hope that, that if we do... if we do become partners, that I don't... ruin things again. [And he stares at his feet because the memories there are painful.]
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[Thinking that Robert is referring to the morning after the experiment:] You didn't. It's better this way.
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... there are still... issues, though. Like your brothers. Raphael especially - he seemed to dislike my very existence.
[... And there's still Helios. Helios, who isn't back yet - but Robert hopes he will be soon.]
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Somewhat. [Robert knits his fingers.] I am not sure if you recall, but...
... There is the matter of Helios. [Robert's gaze flickers downward.] I, er, have... never been p-polyamorous before and I don't know how to deal with it, nor do I know anything about how he or you would feel about that sort of thing. Or... or if it w-would even work at all. [And Robert sort of devolves into a blushing mess at this.]
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Ah, Don. I... I suppose that means you're monoamorous yourself? N-not that I'm not, usually, but... [Robert's voice is fearful.] ... I... I apologize. I should have said something beforehand.
... I doubt he'd be interested in this anyway and I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before and I'd probably ruin it worse than the one time with - [And he cuts himself off there because that nearly went to a very bad place. But he's still obviously apologetic.]
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D-Don... I...
[He tries to explain the feelings as best as possible.] I-I, I haven't felt th-this way before. But you're both... w-wonderful. Both of you. I... perhaps, perhaps it's strange to hear that - but... ... I have been alone for so long that I'm sure I have the capacity to love more than one person. Truly love.
... though... I-I... maybe I'm just, not good enough for either of you. [Robert audibly sobs, just a little bit.]
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No, it's - it's okay. I'm not interested in Helios, but if you are... I'm used to sharing.
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I-I, I wouldn't want you to be unhappy, Donatello. [Robert tries to close the distance between them, pathetically.] ... I... I b-barely understand my own feelings as it is, right now.
All... All I know is that I want to be with you...
... a-and I am so very afraid.
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I'm happy, Robert, I am. This is already more than I ever expected. If you want to be with both of us, and you think you can, then - I don't mind.
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I do.
[Donatello is close to him. Close, too close. But Robert doesn't care anymore, right now. Rejection hurt, yes; rejection hurts more than anything. But god he's lonely and finally it feels like something might just go right for once and...]
... [Robert leans forward, his gray eyes full of a mixture of desire and loneliness and panic, and takes Donatello's leathery green cheek softly in one hand. The memory of kissing Helios burns on his lips, and the memories of kissing Benjamin before then haunt his mind like a spectre - he knows this will be different, but... he wants to show that he really does care for Donatello - that maybe he loves Donatello. He doesn't know.
Maybe he'll learn.
Robert leans forward, closing his eyes, and presses his soft, yielding human lips to the turtle's beak. It's a clumsy, shameful, anxious little kiss, but it's a kiss.]
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[It only takes him one moment more to decide it's not a bad thing.]
[He kisses Robert back as best he can, which is not very well at all. But there's a lot of earnest effort in it, if that counts for anything...]
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Muffled, he mumbles against Don's chest.]
I-I... ah... W-Was... was that alright? I, I probably should have a-asked and... [He trails off. The reality that he kissed somebody of, ostensibly, his own free will is a very powerful reality.]
... [He looks silently, but almost guiltily up at Donatello, his face flushed deeply, before a weak, shy little smile emerges.]
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The best I've ever had.
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... I am glad for that. Truly. I wouldn't have wanted to have been... sub-par, for you.
[Part of Robert feels a little silly here - and there's still panic, yes. But the majority doesn't really care. He's content to just rest against the turtle's cool body.]
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Robert, I have to go.
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... Unless I could assist, somehow? [It's a kind of lame attempt to try to spend more time with the turtle.]
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[He gets up backwards from the couch, scoops up his bo and tucks it into its place behind his shell, all without taking his eyes from Robert.] I'll come again as soon as I can...
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[And that next part earns another shy smile from Robert.] Please, feel free to. I'd very much appreciate it.
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[And he heads in that direction. If Robert has no more parting words, he'll let himself out.]