[Robert needed to talk to Donatello - or rather, needed to talk at Donatello, whether he responded or not; just to clear his mind, to get all those feelings out somehow in a medium that made sense. Writing made sense. Less sense than typing, to be sure, but it was strangely relaxing in a way, getting those emotions into some tangible form.
He did hope Donatello would respond. But Robert mostly writes this long note to try to crystallize his own thoughts into something coherent.]
Donatello... I realize the past week or so has probably been difficult for both of us. I also realize that there may be things you had trouble sharing with me, which I understand - I am much like that, in that sharing certain aspects can be quite difficult to do at times. I am afraid that this mutual lack of communication has led to some... problems in terms of us relating, because right now I have no real concept of whatever is troubling you; all I can fathom is that you are upset enough to go to the mountains for awhile, to think as your brother told me, without informing me prior; and while you certainly do have the right to do so, at the same time I cannot help but worry about you.
I am not sure how much you know about this, but... [Here Robert hesitates, but this is something he needs to say.] ... I really do care about you, Donatello. At this point, I can safely say I have not had these sorts of feelings for anybody - anybody at all - for eight years. Though it is true that they only were truly made aware to me after the events of Valentine's day, I assure you that they are as real as I can ascertain with empirical evidence - and they are... admittedly frightening at times, because of the fact I have so little experience with them. But the fact that you have never been with anybody at all must make this experience even more formidable, and to that end I am prepared to do whatever is in my power to help make this something that will make you happy.
I... I love you, Donatello. [Robert knows he should have said this to him, but...] Perhaps it is rash and illogical of me to say this, but... everything about you that I learned so far, I respect and admire and even treasure. Your intelligence is quite frankly astounding, and you are mature and wise far beyond your years. You are essentially everything I could have ever asked for in terms of a wonderful person that I would wish to be with. And I really do not want to jeopardize this in any way. Perhaps... perhaps I made a mistake, something that caused you to disdain my presence, and if I did make a mistake I wish to set it right. I wish to be somebody that deserves it when you say that you love me. Because when your brother told me that you had said that about me... it made me happier than I can remember feeling since the day I first set foot into the Randi Institute.
Our worlds are very different, yes, and that might be strange; it might be something that we will need to find ways to overcome. I know very well myself that I am the kind of person who finds... strange things difficult to understand. But I am willing to truly try for your sake, Donatello. You are worth that effort. To me you are... [And Robert struggles for something to convey his feelings...] You are like that endeavour of scientists to search for that truth, the theories and laws that encompass the universe - and the more I learn about you, the more I realize that I do not understand. And I want to. Even if it is strange, and at times I may find myself asking what, or why, or how. Perhaps you feel likewise. Even if you do not, though... I do eventually want to show this, and if nothing else, I want to be a person that you feel that you can truly trust, and respect.
... But I do hope that you will deem me worthy of whatever love you wish to give. Because I certainly think that you are worthy of it in return; worthy of more love than I could ever give you. Worthy of more than I could ever give you in general.
[Written] | Dated to March 5th, sometime after the chat with Raphael
He did hope Donatello would respond. But Robert mostly writes this long note to try to crystallize his own thoughts into something coherent.]
Donatello... I realize the past week or so has probably been difficult for both of us. I also realize that there may be things you had trouble sharing with me, which I understand - I am much like that, in that sharing certain aspects can be quite difficult to do at times. I am afraid that this mutual lack of communication has led to some... problems in terms of us relating, because right now I have no real concept of whatever is troubling you; all I can fathom is that you are upset enough to go to the mountains for awhile, to think as your brother told me, without informing me prior; and while you certainly do have the right to do so, at the same time I cannot help but worry about you.
I am not sure how much you know about this, but... [Here Robert hesitates, but this is something he needs to say.] ... I really do care about you, Donatello. At this point, I can safely say I have not had these sorts of feelings for anybody - anybody at all - for eight years. Though it is true that they only were truly made aware to me after the events of Valentine's day, I assure you that they are as real as I can ascertain with empirical evidence - and they are... admittedly frightening at times, because of the fact I have so little experience with them. But the fact that you have never been with anybody at all must make this experience even more formidable, and to that end I am prepared to do whatever is in my power to help make this something that will make you happy.
I... I love you, Donatello. [Robert knows he should have said this to him, but...] Perhaps it is rash and illogical of me to say this, but... everything about you that I learned so far, I respect and admire and even treasure. Your intelligence is quite frankly astounding, and you are mature and wise far beyond your years. You are essentially everything I could have ever asked for in terms of a wonderful person that I would wish to be with. And I really do not want to jeopardize this in any way. Perhaps... perhaps I made a mistake, something that caused you to disdain my presence, and if I did make a mistake I wish to set it right. I wish to be somebody that deserves it when you say that you love me. Because when your brother told me that you had said that about me... it made me happier than I can remember feeling since the day I first set foot into the Randi Institute.
Our worlds are very different, yes, and that might be strange; it might be something that we will need to find ways to overcome. I know very well myself that I am the kind of person who finds... strange things difficult to understand. But I am willing to truly try for your sake, Donatello. You are worth that effort. To me you are... [And Robert struggles for something to convey his feelings...] You are like that endeavour of scientists to search for that truth, the theories and laws that encompass the universe - and the more I learn about you, the more I realize that I do not understand. And I want to. Even if it is strange, and at times I may find myself asking what, or why, or how. Perhaps you feel likewise. Even if you do not, though... I do eventually want to show this, and if nothing else, I want to be a person that you feel that you can truly trust, and respect.
... But I do hope that you will deem me worthy of whatever love you wish to give. Because I certainly think that you are worthy of it in return; worthy of more love than I could ever give you. Worthy of more than I could ever give you in general.
But that will hardly stop me from trying.