i_speak_softly | Fifty-Sixth Theory [Action]

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Fifty-Sixth Theory [Action]

((Forward-dated to Sunday the 26th, after the village has cleaned up from the ice storm.))

[That was a good last try, Winter, but you are rapidly losing your hold over this ectotherm. He was trapped in C5 for several days, after Luke Skywalker’s guests shook off their movie-marathon stupor to realize they were iced in, but since making it safely back to House 55 he’s been increasingly alert and moving around with greater purpose.]

[Today he put on his heated snowsuit and struck out across the snowy village to the library. He had found this puzzle-box among his things, and he wants to work on it without his housemates hanging over his shoulders.]

[He also wants to strike up a conversation with anyone who so much as glances at him. Cold weather and semi-torpor don’t present many opportunities for socializing, and the normally-quiet Turtle has a lot of pent-up conversation in need of an outlet. It won’t be at his normal intellectual level, but it should at least be better than it has been in recent weeks.]

((Feel free to help Don with the puzzle-box, but I don’t want it to be opened yet.))

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[Marco has now returned a giant stack of pirate books. And needs more interesting things. Winter is such a pain when you can't just decide to skip the island and go someplace warm. And oh look! Another turtle zoan! Well not really a zoan, but he must be one of Leonardo's brothers at least. And given the warm-up gear, he must understand the annoying aspects of winter as well.]

Nice box. [Sits down and cocks his head to get a good look at it.]

Frustrating box.

[He shows it to Marco - some of the pieces are half-slid out, but it doesn't look like it will be opening any time soon.]

Looks like a type of lock. [Puts on his glasses. They do nothing, but he looks smarter in them and people take him more seriously.] Any idea what's inside?

[Hey, you do look smarter.]

A present. I think.

[Doesn't he? It's a miracle.]

Present? From who?

My friend Robert.

Score. So he gave you the box too?

[Sneakily slides one of the pieces experimentally.]

Mm.

[He observes your efforts - is this going to work?]

So is the goal to match them up?

I don't know.

Maybe it's spring operated!

[He's kind of excited, but leaves it to Don. Don's present, Don get to figure it out after all.

[fffffffffff Good one! Don laughs uproariously.]

[Welp, Marco knows why he finds it funny himself, but he's just hoping it's for the same reason Don is laughing.]

One of those Winters, eh? [Could mean boring. Or not.]

Sneaky little box... so does it require a specific combo?

[Don nods, and considers the box again. Did Robert lock it with some code that Don ought to recognize?]

Maybe his birthday? Or is that too obvious?

[Don turns the box over - where would he enter a code like that?]

The pieces that slide. [Gestures very vaguely.]

[Yeah that's helpful.]

I can't remember the date.

Is there a favorite day of the year or something? Favorite number?

Like if I was giving Ace a present like this, I'd make it 1 - 2 - 3. Because 1/1 is his birthday, but that's my division number, his is 2, and 3 is for his brothers growing up.

[Also because Marco likes insulting his little brother's intelligence to troll him, but anyway....]

[Helpless shrug.]

Maybe it'll come to you in time, eh?

Probably...

[He fiddles with the box again, still not getting anywhere.]

Well good luck to you man, for now I'm gonna go check out those books. See you around okay?

[Don nods. Maybe he'll - head back home soon.]

[Haaa, the snow and ice were such a burden. Now that it's better and the ice is over, Japan has ventured out toward the stores to get groceries and to the library to pick up recipe books. He sees Donatello just as they approach the library at the same time and stops, freezing on the spot. The last time he saw Don, he still thought he was an Empire and that conversation had not gone very well.]

..................

[Maybe he can just turn and run away subtly into the bushes until Don passes by.]

...

[Or maybe he'll just stand here awkwardly, trying to blend into the scenery.]

[Don won't stand around to talk in the cold, but he will notice you (badly) attempting to hide, and hold the door. Coming in?]

[O-oh...he can't get out of this, can he. He does need to go inside and...well... Maybe Don just won't notice. Or something. He has no idea.

He shuffles forward and bows his head as he awkwardly scoots past Don into the building.]

P-pardon me...

[Don follows closely - he wants to get where it's warm. As soon as the door is closed, he starts stripping off his snowsuit.]

[That's not awkward or anything, is it?]

[Aaaand yup. Japan turns to check over his shoulder and jumps, dropping his groceries when he puts his hands up over his eyes. Don's free to recognize his voice, if you want.]

A-aaah!! What are you doing?!

[You do sound familiar, though Don can't immediately place it.]

What? I have to equalize!

T-There are restrooms for that sort of thing...!!! [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH]

P-Please! It is indecency to be stripping in public...!!

I don't need the bathroom!

[He backs up, holding the snowsuit in front of him. He's used to people flipping out because he's a turtle - though it hasn't happened in a long time - but he rarely gets screamed at for being naked.]

[Japan is just going to turn out and kneel, hiding his face against his knees. Say hello to his cherry pink wings shivering from the shame of this all.]

Why are foreigners always so forward...

[This takes Don aback for a moment, before he cautiously asks:] Nihonjin desu ka...? [Wait.] Nihon desu?!

[Ooooooooh snap. Japan freezes.]

.............................................................

[THE JIG IS UP. WHAT DO?
> Pretend to be someone else
> Act normal
> RUN

Japan chooses:
> RUN

He jumps to his feet and turns, bows quickly, and then makes to bolt for one of the bookstacks---

Only to trip over the groceries at his feet, take a face-first flop toward the ground, turn it into a somersault and pop back to his feet, confused. He is not quite sure wtf just happened, but he's pretty sure that was the BAD END. So he tries again.

Japan chooses:
> Act normal]

....Hello.

[That option seems to be deactivated for Don right now. Running, hiding, and bowing are choices, and they all seem about equally good.]

[After mentally flailing for a moment, Don clutches the snowsuit in front of him and awkwardly bows over it.]

Hello... sir.

[Act normal was a success!

Japan looks at Don for a moment, then slowly slides his gaze to the side.]

...Hello.

...

[Welp, he's a master of conversation.]

...Ah...

I hope you are well...?

A... little cold?

....Ah.

Yes...

Well...

I suspect....

....

Being a turtle would do such a thing....

[Being a country probably has weird side effects too, but Don already irritated Poland with his questions, so he'll be quiet.]

Would you... like to sit down? Sir?

D-do I seem to need it....? A-ah, I should...ask you if the temperature is acceptable...? I could find...the thermostat...

No! Yes! I mean -- if you want...

...

I-I'll go look for the thermostat.....

[omg rolling away to sob in a corner about how royally he messed up that little meeting]

[Don thought he was pretty well-trained in Japanese customs, but... he has no idea what just happened.]

[Japanese customs, yes. Japan's customs? That's a whole other ballpark.]

[ buffy pretends like she doesn't often come to the library but she's here today -- casually browsing spines while actually waiting for a corner to free up. she has a bulky, old volume to snoop around and she doesn't feel comfortable doing it while there might be a crowd in.

so as she tries to drum up some distraction as she waits: ] Hey. Don. Long time no...anything, really.

Hey, A-- Buffy.

[... You didn't notice that, right?]

[ the ever-so-slight widening of her eyes suggests that she does, indeed, notice. but she leaves the turtle his pride and breezes by the nearly repeated misspeak. ]

Catching up on some...reading? Oh, God. What a stupid question. Of course you are. Why else does anyone come to a library?

No, I'm hiding from my housemates. And trying to solve this. [He holds up the puzzle-box, which... is not at all solved.]

Hiding? From them?

[ so curious; so nosy. but she does grab a seat and take a closer look at the puzzle-box. ]

They ask too many questions.

[He slides the box across the table; go ahead and try it.]

Is that a not-so-subtle hint to also not ask any?

[ she picks it up. pauses a moment before giving it a go. ]

It's okay. I'm tired of getting questions from the same people.

And I'm guessing these aren't the fun kinda questions like -- hey, Donnie, what do you want for lunch?

[ she also has a name slip-up; blame the fact that she frequently calls her little sister 'dawnie'. ]

[Don doesn't mind - he kind of wishes people would call him that more often.]

Not really. [But enough of that subject.] What have you been doing this winter?

Skating. Training. Taking in strays. Lots of this and that.

[ and being proposed to and planning grand heroic plans. but those two things aren't exactly pleasant chit-chat. ] And trying not to freeze. I'm really more of a summer gal.

[He nods.] I know what you mean.

...I guess the typical terrarium sun-lamp doesn't really come in your size.

They make them for people too.

Tanning beds, you mean? Come on. Do I look like the kinda gal with a lot of tanning bed experience?

[ teasing; sweet. ]

[Don can still recognize a joke when he hears one.]

They're called spectrum bulbs. They're for - for -- [And there it goes.] They're good for something that humans get.

Get? What -- like a disease?

Sort of? They have something, and... the lamps make them feel better.

Are you...feeling a-okay, Donnie?

[He sighs.]

I'm still dumb, aren't I.

Still...?

Well -- if it's any consolation? You're clearly not as dumnb as I am, as I say huh? You're like...Mister Smarty-Pants. Or you would be.

If you wore pants.

[... That is so much like something Mike would say. Don can't help smiling.]

[ she drops casually into a seat across from him. ]

I think I need some annotations here. Just to get my comprehension off the ground. Why are you dumb? Or, more accurately, why are you saying that you are?

Winterbrain.

[That answers everything, right?]

W-winter...brain.

[ no. no it doesn't. ]

... Torpor?

What? Like hibernation?

[Nod - close enough.]

...That's gotta be rough for you.

[He shrugs.] Not really.

...What's it like? Is that too rude to ask?

[Shrug, headshake. You're lucky his inhibitions are shot.] It's normal for me. Restful.

Sometimes annoying.

Like a post-workout crash. Nice to indulge; then you realize how much you haven't been doing. Only...seasonally. Am I right? Am I close?

[Nope.]

You get to crash after a workout?

...If that work-out ends pre-sunset.

[At another time of year Don would reason this through pretty quickly, but right now it's going to take him a while to figure out the subtext.]

[He's trying though.]

...Vampires. They tend not to come out before dark.

[Ah, gotcha.]

You go out at night, then?

That's me. Buffy the night owl. Not...literally, of course.

I used to go out at night. [... That doesn't sound right.] You know. To do night-time things.

...Maybe I know. What kind of night-time things? There's a variety.

Scavenge in dumpsters. Help homeless people. Stop petty criminals.

[Typical night-time activities.]

Wait wait wait. Scavenge in dumpsters?

For food?

[Oh. Wait. Most people don't do that.]

Um...

Edited 2012-03-10 21:20 (UTC)

I didn't realize you were one of those...what are they called? Freegans.

Who?

Freegans. Like vegans only....free. I suppose.

... I don't think I'm that.

...It was kinda just a far-fetched example anyway.

[Subject change?]

Do you roof-run, Buffy?

Depends. For business or pleasure?

Either.

Plenty. For business. Sometimes it's the best way to outrun a vamp in the alley-ways.

[He nods, remembering how it feels to take the direct route while some dumb criminal tries to escape through the maze below.]

Do you want to go running some time?

[ light. lilting. teasing. ] Think you can keep up?

[ translation: yes. ]

In a month I can.

[It's a date.]

You've got yourself a date.

[ she ratifies that unspoken term with a cheeky grin. ] Just don't tell my boyfriend. I don't think he'd understand.

[Don grins.]

Mine either.

"Yours?"

A surprised raise of her eyebrows. "I didn't know you had a honey, Don."

A frustrated gesture at the puzzle-box.

"Christmas present."

"...Aha. Cute. Cuter than what mine got me. So there's that."

Don allows himself a moment of satisfaction, for having a partner who gives superior presents.

And then, because he's in over-sharing mode today:

"Robert Hastings."

"Only met him once. He..."

Her face darkened for just a second. "We had a mutual friend. A very...close one."

Don looks away. He knows some people Robert cared about deeply had been sent home.

He keeps hoping he isn't next...

"He and Giles...well -- that's kind of a dreary subject all around. I guess."

She wasn't sure she'd be able to look Robert in the eye, now. Too many Giles-related things. "But he seems like a decent guy."

"I think so."

And since he can't remember all the details of their relationship right now, he's saying that with somewhat less bias than he normally would.

...At least her opinion of Robert could be better than Don's opinion of Jack. There was that.

"Maybe that puzzle box'll just be all the sweeter for how long it takes to figure out, hmm?"

"Maybe." He picks it up again and slides the pieces around. One of these combinations has to work...

"You're being so patient. I'd have smashed it in two by now but..." she lifted too loose fists. "Slayer. Solves all her problems with these."

Don knows a certain Turtle who solves all his problems with those, but personally he's always been good at restraint.

"I'll keep that in mind as a back-up plan."

"Got any guesses as to what's inside?"

Don shakes the box - a kind of muted jingling results - and shrugs.

"...Doesn't sound like a letter, at least. Maybe some bling?"

Bling.

Don tries to imagine Robert using that word, or having any interest in what it refers to.

Nope. Can't picture it.

"...No go, huh?"

A slight, indulgent smile. "Oh well."

He fiddles with the mysterious box.

"Were you looking for a book?"

"Spellbook. Actually."

"... Spelling?"

"Nope. As in spells. Magic."

"You do magic?"

This is news. Buffy had always struck him as a serious, kick-butt-without-any-superpowers kind of person.

"Do it? No. That's usually the domain of my...well -- I have a friend. You'd like her, actually. Really really smart. Like accepted-to-Oxbridge smart. And she's more the magically inclined one but she's not here and I need...

something."

Don is about to ask Can I meet her? but... oh.

"What do you want to use magic for?"

"To solve a little...problem. Back home. N-not in my home, though. In case I go through with that tempting little offer we were given by His Blueness."

[Beast himself is out today, finding once he returned to his house that most of his food needs replacing. Grr, stupid storm. He will catch Don outside on their way to their destinations and... oh right, he was at the marathon, wasn't he? He seems to be appearing more lately... and what's that he's holding?

He hasn't come over to say anything yet, but Don may notice that he's stopped walking and is observing him not-so-subtly.]

[Mammals and their fur coats... not fair. You can just stand there being warm; Don is going to head inside.]

[He follows his path and sees he's... oh. The library. That... place with all the books.

... Books. They're so familiar yet so... not. And now he's going to have to learn. Ugh...

Well he'd better follow him.]

[Don is wandering through the library, his snowsuit rolled up in his arms, looking for a place to sit.]

[And Beast follows, though not quite paying as much attention to Don anymore as he sees oh mon Dieu this is a lot of books. Granted, his library at home is about the same size as this, if not bigger, but he hasn't been in it in years and none... none of this he can read. Where... where would he even begin?

So now he's just left standing there, feeling more than a little lost.]

[Don considers a table in a corner, then chooses one in a fairly high-traffic area instead. He wants to talk to people today!]

[Standing here some more, trying to figure out what to do, before he remembers... he's a giant animal standing in the middle of the library rubbing his paws. Somebody must notice this!

Ohhhh, what to do, what to do... Don is still sitting there. Well... Don knows him, right? Maybe he wouldn't mind if he came over. Just... just for a little while. Maybe he could even teach him about libraries, like how Robert teaches him about everything. Or at least give him some advice...

Yes... yes, he thinks he'll do that before he draws attention. Slowly... sloooowly creeping forward to sit down in one of the chairs.]

[Oh, hi, Beast. Don is just going to launch into conversation at you.]

I was hoping you would sit with me. It gets really boring sitting at home with the same people all the time, doesn't it? I mean, you like them, but you want to talk to someone else once in a while. Or just not talk to your housemates, because they're always asking questions or trying to help you when you need to figure something out on your own.

[He knocks the puzzle-box against the table in frustration.]

You understand, right?

[He flinches at the unexpected talking, and then, as Don goes on, he just sits there in plain confusion. Why is he talking about this? It... seemed to come out of nowhere.

But he asked him a question, so he should probably answer it. After all, there have been times where he wanted someone to talk to besides all of his servants.] I-I... yes, I... think so.

[He nods - of course you do.]

I'm working on opening this box. I know it will take time to solve, but there's something worthwhile inside, and getting it myself will be more satisfying than asking someone else to open it for me. [He jiggles a piece ineffectively - it doesn't move the way he thought it would.]

... I wouldn't mind a little help, though.

A... box? [He looks at it with interest... never heard of a box that needed "solving" before.]

You... d-don't have the key?

[He shakes his head.]

It's a Japanese puzzle-box. The only way to open it is by sliding the pieces the right way.

[He lowers his head onto the table to be at eye-level with the object. It definitely looks interesting, this Jah-pan-eez puzzle-box, whatever that means.]

H-how... how can I help?

[Don pokes the box across the table.]

Try it. You can't do any worse than I'm doing myself.

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Fifty-Sixth Theory [Action]

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