semper_cogitans: (D:>)
Robert Hastings ([personal profile] semper_cogitans) wrote in [personal profile] i_speak_softly 2013-07-08 01:28 am (UTC)

[More kneading punctuates his answers with a backdrop of discomfort.] Yes. A-At first, of course.

... The... the euphoria... Don, perhaps you do not u-understand as it comes so easily to you, but... but to be so free, to feel so comfortable - at times I n-nearly was able to pretend as if I had never felt anxiety or social d-discomfort at all. And even though some of the s-side-effects were unpleasant, it was... worth that feeling of connection, that at last I was... truly able to meld with others...

... [Softer, but more harshly:] I d-deluded myself into thinking that... this state would o-only be beneficial to maintain indefinitely. I lost sight of... of wh-why it had been positive to begin with. It became damaging, and eventually I was unable to stop...

... Even now I am not c-certain... when that line was crossed...

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