Luceti Appointments

[i_speak_softly]

Need a thread with Don, but don't have a post for it and don't feel like starting one? Stick it here. Please note date, time of day, location, and any relevant circumstances.

Comments

[i_speak_softly]

[Don eats in silence too, processing the morning. Finally he asks:]

Robert, did something else happen that I should know about?

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert has moved on to his tea by now, but when Don asks that question he puts it down immediately. Clearly the answer is yes.]

... P-Perhaps I should... explain from the b-beginning... [Now that he's closer to sober it will even be coherent.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don resettles to face Robert, his expression impassive. Gon on; explain yourself.]

[semper_cogitans]

[He'll try.]

On the t-twenty-sixth of May, an event occurred in L-Luceti whereby... many residents gained what I can only e-express as... amplified Filial Magic from a sort of s-symbiotic arrangement with Filial Spirits.

I... I r-received power from Tsinku, the like I had... n-never even begun to imagine... [He trails off softly, here.] It was... an experience unlike any I have kn-known...

... And it e-ended so quickly, with you still gone... [His tone softens again, turns inward.] That ease, that simplicity... it must be how most others in this place feel. It... was a r-reminder that I will always be... d-different, here... inferior. Helpless...

[He pauses here, throat tight with emotions he can only partially explain.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don furrows his brow and rubs his beak, thinking.]

After I was with the Malnosso a few days, they were suddenly very interested in my Filial magic. I wonder if there's a connection.

[semper_cogitans]

Most l-likely... [It would make sense at least if they were trying to explain the phenomenon.]

At any rate, I... I s-suppose that feeling so helpless after... having such ability was p-painful enough that I... felt too unable to affect change...

[Quietly:] I... wanted to regain that connection with Tsinku, but... it was much d-different once I was no longer inhabited b-by him...

[i_speak_softly]

[Softly:] I felt pretty useless too.

[He leans over, just enough to rest his shoulder against Robert's.] I missed being able to touch you.

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert doesn't quite lean back into the touch, but there's a noticeable shift of pressure to the shoulder.]

... I... I m-missed that too...

...

[Wait.]

... You... you could not?

[i_speak_softly]

Mm. [He turns his head to rest his beak in Robert's hair.] A few times you rolled over at night and I woke up inside you, but... this is better.

[semper_cogitans]

[...]

... Wh-what exactly do you mean...? [Any interpretation of that Robert can come up with doesn't sound like something he shouldn't have noticed.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don pulls back, blinking at the scientist in confusion.]

Robert, I've been here. I was invisible and... [He searches for the right word.] - incorporeal. With enough focus I could briefly affect the physical world, but ... you didn't notice me.

[semper_cogitans]

... [Suddenly it makes significantly more sense that he didn't notice Don was in the house.]

I th-thought you meant that... you had been here o-ordinarily and I simply had not noticed...

[i_speak_softly]

[His expression turns to one of disbelief.]

Robert, no one can be that drunk.

[semper_cogitans]

[With a shameful edge:] I was not m-merely drunk.

[i_speak_softly]

[A sharp look. What else was going on that he doesn't know about?]

[semper_cogitans]

As I s-said... my contact with Tsinku produced... u-unusual effects once I attempted to... re-establish the b-bond. Combined with alcohol, the effects have been... a-almost hallucinatory...

[He stops then, twisting his fingers slightly, before continuing once more.]

It was... pleasant, I s-suppose, or... or more pleasant than... w-worrying all the time.

[i_speak_softly]

[Robert, how could you. Don's expression hardens, and his voice is dangerously quiet.]

You told me you were done with all of that.

[semper_cogitans]

[Mechanically:] The m-mechanisms that led me to... abuse hallucinatory substances at one time are... still p-present. It was... the s-situation that was no longer present... until r-recently.

[Regardless of his words, though, Robert knows that he really doesn't have an excuse for abusing an altered state, and he shrinks inward away from Don once more.]

[i_speak_softly]

[There is no excuse. Don turns away and stacks up the empty dishes angrily.]

You promised me.

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert picks at the skin on his hands slowly, the sick feeling in him pressing at him inexorably from all sides. Why would he promise to stop a behaviour that he's never even gotten help for? And yet Don's convinced that he has. There isn't much he can say about it.

So he doesn't speak. He gets the feeling there isn't much he could say that would stave off anger right now. Logic may prevail in most cases, but it doesn't do much for rage.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Well. At least Robert isn't trying to defend his behavior. Don takes the tray and storms out. A few minutes in the kitchen should help him cool off.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert doesn't go anywhere, of course. There's no reason to. But this gives him plenty of time to think about just how stupid this all was... how stupid he was. How pathetic it was that he tried to run away from his problems yet again.

It didn't work before. Why did he think it would work now? Why is it that desperation is such an alluring siren song to him?

Whether Don comes back or not, eventually Robert will shift into being a small ball on the bedspread, not crying but simply staring into space.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don returns after a short while to find Robert in that state, and addresses him from the doorway.]

I poured all the alcohol down the sink and now there's hardly anything in the fridge. I'm going out to get some groceries.

[If Robert wants to say anything before Don leaves again, this would be his chance.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Being spoken to from the doorway hurts as much, if not more, than everything else. That feeling of standoffishness hasn't been felt between them since... well, the last time something major happened. Robert doesn't really know how to deal with this kind of distance anymore, even if it exists because of what he did. So all he has to say is a whispered:]

Th-thank you.

[i_speak_softly]

[Don leaves without another word, and returns sometime later, as Robert will know by the banging in the kitchen. He doesn't sound as furious as earlier, but he's clearly still angry.]