i_speak_softly | Luceti Appointments

[That is something that Robert has been asking himself.]

... Is it... p-possible that both happened...?

[By way of explanation:] Ms. Daisy... raised the p-possibility that some sort of multiversion has been... created, here in L-Luceti. That... perhaps spacetime itself has been altered.

[With a faint note of alarm:] But then which you are you?

[If he doesn't remember last night... what else is missing from his memories?]

[Is it possible that both multiversions of Robert are now running around Luceti?]

[Possible. And alarming, if so.]

... How d-do you suppose I could tell? [This is rapidly getting metaphysical.]

[In response, Don moves his chair around the table to sit at Robert's side. From this position, he can study his lover's face closely but somewhat discreetly.]

Do you remember the eighteenth kata, or the observatory we built, or what we're planning to do for your birthday?

No... [None of those things ever happened yet, for him. His sadness, his feeling of loss at these things not being his - it shows in the slight, restrained quiver of his jaw.

But he is trying to keep himself calm. These memories were not his to lose.]

But you remember me. [That much is clear. Though... maybe it wasn't the same him either.]

[Distracting himself momentarily from these imponderables to deal with simpler matters, he nudges Robert's elbow.]

Please eat.

[... Okay, Turtle. A little mechanically, Robert begins to eat the food Don's so meticulously prepared for him. It's easy to tell that he's hungry, but he also has to force himself to eat rather than focus on something else...]

[Robert looks the same as he did yesterday, at least as far as Don can tell - not that he's ever been very good at facial discrimination tasks.]

Maybe something in your journal or nanocomputer will help straighten things out.

[For a moment, there's a feeling of incredible loss - of disturbing realization, that his nanocomputer might be gone - and Robert has to actually stop himself from getting up immediately. The journal exists still...

... But his own journal entries no longer match what he made. He saw as such, when he checked it briefly before. He didn't have the ability to go through them thoroughly... but he knows.

Will it be the same with his nanocomputer? Will the information that he remembers putting there be there? What of the Robert-that-never-was...?

There will be so many broken edges to glue together.

The man continues to eat slowly and reluctantly, in a way that betrays his anxieties. His fingers shake on the spoon.]

[This is very alarming. Don rests a hand on Robert's trembling arm, just enough pressure to say I am here, it's all right.]

Anata...

[The shaking slows, though it does not stop, at the touch.]

Kararbo - if... if I am a d-different Robert than the man you have known this past time...

[... Will you still love him?]

[Don doesn't move.]

You were already a different Robert than the man I met.

[People change. They will work this out.]

[He's glad that you're confident, Don. He isn't himself, but... it soothes him slightly.]

... I... I s-suppose... but... there is so much you know... that I d-do not...

Then won't it be fun to talk about. [A soft smile. Don shifts to put an arm lightly around Robert's shoulders, keeping close but not impeding his movements.]

Eat. Clean up. Then we'll talk.

[Don seems to always know exactly what to say. With his fears at least partially quelled, Robert finishes his soup, and then goes through his usual motions...

Cleaning the bowl, organizing the counters, arranging the cleaned cutlery and utensils, placing the dried cup and bowl in their usual places - it's funny how he remembers the usual places, almost as muscle memory now.

Then he stands there, meditatively. Cleaning has a way of focusing his mind, and he's quite a bit calmer now.]

[He meant something more like "take a shower", but whatever makes you feel better.]

What do you want to do now?

... I would... wish to speak of the events you remember us taking part in.

Ms. Daisy had asked me to analyze memories of people who stayed in Luceti; I would suppose this could dovetail with such a request. [That and he's clearly curious about what his not-self did.]

Sure.

[Where do you want to start with that?]

[It is quite the topic.]

... About the events you mentioned before... [Robert's eyes slide downward a moment, but he looks up again, as if renewing his emotional fortitude.] How do you recall them happening? Did I... seem any different?

[Don thinks a moment, drawing together his memories.]

The eighteenth kata was hard for you. You found the movements unnatural. We learned it in very small pieces.

You... were frustrated with yourself. But you didn't give up. And you were so happy when you mastered it...

What is... the eighteenth kata? [Robert asks this almost carefully. It's like he's afraid that admitting he doesn't know this is... doing something wrong.]

[Terribly disappointing - but not wrong, and at this point, not very surprising.]

[Don gets up and moves towards the back room.]

[And Robert follows him, looking nervous as ever. What is it that Don is going to show him?

... Well, obviously, a kata. But it must be something very unique and strange indeed if Robert struggled with it so much. (Or it's just something his body can't do well. But he'll have to see.)]

[Don would be the first to admit that the kata is not an easy one - but then, neither are any of those that come after it in the sequence.]

[He takes his place on the mat, bows, and begins the exercise, in that slow and deliberate way he uses when teaching Robert something new.]

[When he's done, he looks at his partner with a questioning but not very hopeful expression. Did that seem familiar at all?]

Luceti Appointments

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