i_speak_softly | Fifty-First Theory [Written/Voice/Action]

[This morning, instead of going for his usual run, Don settles himself at his desk in the back room. The door is open and a pencil is poked thoughtfully between his teeth. When he begins to write, it isn't filtered, but courtesy of a translation-shield, anyone trying to read the entry will see something that looks more like a Danish cryptogram than anything intelligible. It's a code Don uses for his private notes: only his brothers or an extraordinarily gifted linguist would have a hope of being able to figure it out.]

BGTVULWG - Wvlz hltwqszu bluul kgf bj svg hblfl. Bj ilkqtblf bqs q lu zu lb pvwblu WJDLUQ, gs bj zpflh bqzzal tgulf bqs zlwh, lkulf vu bj nvhbl iglu nl f q lu vg gs lt vwh.

[A little later in the morning, Don leaves the following message.]

Filtered to everyone he can think of that he would consider a friend || Unhackable

All my friends here in Luceti... would you say a few words about yourself? For my notes.

[Much later, in the evening, Don goes out for his run. Now that Shredder is gone, he's allowed to go out after dark again. He knows he doesn't have long before the nights get too cold for this, so he's going to enjoy it while he can.]

((OOC: On Ami's suggestion, Don is working on the in-game equivalent of a timeline and a CR chart.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Don slumps. He's explained to Robert before why he hates being blunt, and he does not at all like his apparent choices: insulting his partner's intelligence or leaving him completely in the dark.]

Isn't there anything else?

[He knows, which is why he was so hesitant to say that... although he still doesn't quite understand how it would be offensive. It is literally something he doesn't understand - as much as that makes him feel mildly bad - and... well, how would it be offensive to explain something he doesn't understand?

... still.]

... I am uncertain. Other than me... l-learning the cues... which is, well, d-difficult.

...

I have to... to d-do so consciously. I have to... think about it. A-Analyze situations. [It has to run in the back of his mind, like a scanner working in the background, and that gets mentally exhausting sometimes.]

[It's obvious to Don that Robert doesn't have to think hard about everything - he's brilliant, after all. If Don is going to be pre-emptively blunt, he at least wants to establish ground rules regarding what Robert wants help with.]

What kinds of things do you want me to be blunt about?

... Emotions. If... if you can. Things you f-feel.

I... I know that can be... difficult. [Robert has trouble with it too.]

I - I feel -- [What can he call this?] If I were you, I would be lonely and afraid. So I'm - sad, that it's like that for you. I mean, if it is like that. [He looks up, and asks, in a small voice:] Is it?

[Robert keeps his gaze down, staring at the middle distance, but he nods almost imperceptibly.]

... Lonely and afraid, y-yes.

...

Lonely, knowing that... that there is a space, between myself and others, that can be bridged but... n-never entirely removed.

And a-afraid, because... because it is so e-easy to lie to someone like me. [Saki was a terrifying reminder, but even so, he knows that he could look at someone, and that person could smile, and say nice things, and be generally pleasant, and he'd never be able to tell what that person really felt.]

... s-sometimes I am not even certain about what you feel, and then... then I f-feel as if I may have perceived you incorrectly, or... or n-not at all, and... [... then I feel like a failure.]

[After listening to this, Don moves over to lean his shoulder against Robert's. He doesn't know if this is conveying anything to his partner, but he does it as sincerely as he can.]

I'm sorry. That you have to live that way. And - for being difficult.

[In response, Robert leans against Don, resting his head on the turtle's shoulder. The comforting motion helps, at the very least.]

... You never do so on purpose. And you are... easier than most people to deal with... [... Probably because Don goes out of his way to accomodate him.]

... thank you for loving me, at least. You... you make me feel... less alone.

[Don tilts his head to rest it on Robert's. He doesn't think he'll ever get tired of this position.]

Same.

[Well, probably not exactly. But having someone who loves him like this makes him feel connected, grounded, in a way his family could never give him.]

[Robert will never get tired of it either; it's such a reflexive gesture for him now, one that he's used to with Don. He's used to their different heights and the texture of Don's shoulder and the way Don's bridge feels against his own side.]

... I imagine I must be... d-difficult at times, too. [He smiles, but it's a little self-depreciating.

Oh, if he only knew...]

It's okay. I don't know how to deal with people who aren't difficult. [He leans away momentarily so he can slide his hand up to ruffle Robert's hair. It conveys the same kind of affectionate exasperation as slapping Mikey upside the head, but in a more Robert-friendly gesture.]

[Robert's smile brightens at that, and he leans into Don's hand, suppressing the urge to reflexively straighten his hair while simultaneously liking the gentle contact.]

Not too difficult, I hope?

[He'll just leave his hand on top of Robert's head, then.]

Worth the trouble.

[... Should he say "I'm joking"? How could that not come off as an insult?]

I hope so. [Instead of being insulted - probably because he agrees, on some level - Robert just presses a small, brief kiss to Don's cheek.]

... I try to be, at least...

[Well. As pleasant as this is, Don is beginning to feel the change in the weather, and that brings up things he doesn't want to discuss with Robert quite yet.]

Ready to go back inside?

Of course, if you are.

[... Don might find that the discussion will go better than expected. A certain scientist has been doing a lot of research on turtle biology...

Still, Robert stands, moving aside so that Don can get up unencumbered.]

[If you're going to give him that much room, Don will lean on one hand and do a flip to get back on his feet. He then makes an "after you" gesture.]

[...

Random displays of prowess like that never fail to take Robert aback.

... He's just going to get up the sort of pathetic way, dusting his lab coat off reflexively.]

... You always manage to make that sort of thing look effortless.

I'll walk you through it sometime.

[He'd appreciate it, actually. Not that it'd be easy for him to learn, but...]

... I would be delighted.

For now... [He takes Don's hand in his own and points himself in the direction of home.]

Fifty-First Theory [Written/Voice/Action]

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