i_speak_softly | Luceti Appointments

[Fair point. Don turns back around, crossing his arms to keep his hands occupied.]

Why don't you want to do this?

[Hearing Robert's reasons might help him organize his own thinking.]

[This is going to be hard to explain... Robert attempts to stumble through the rhetoric.]

... Inflicting harm, of any kind, for... a reason that is not e-explicitly to protect myself...

... I am your partner. I have a responsibility to treat you well, at all times, and you additionally have... a right to bodily integrity. You... you do not deserve to be hit...

... But, also, it is... needless harm. If I do not need to defend myself from you, what reason is there possibly to hit you?

[... He's having trouble divesting the "hitting people in a friendly way/positive context" from actual attacking.]

[Don listens to these explanations, and... mostly fails to see how they relate to sparring.]

But how are you going to learn to defend yourself if you won't hit me?

[Probably because Robert isn't approaching it from the mindset of sparring...]

Why would I... ever need to hit you? You would never harm me in any r-regular situation...

[... He doesn't even want to think about Don in an abnormal one. There is no way he could hurt Don, no way. None whatsoever.]

[He's getting exasperated. Robert is so intelligent; how can he not understand this?]

That's the point! You can't practice on someone who is trying to harm you!

[There is a fundamental disconnect in how these two think about fighting.]

... But... ["Hitting someone is harming zir..." But how does Robert articulate this idea properly?

He trails off, looking defeated.]

[Don sighs, and lowers himself slowly into seiza.]

Sit with me?

[Nodding, Robert walks a little closer to Don before slowly lowering himself as well. It's... somewhere between seiza and an awkward crouch.]

... this is... still difficult for me.

[It's hard to tell if he means the fighting, or the sitting. Perhaps both.]

[He waves a hand.] You don't have to do that. However you're comfortable. [He waits for Robert to reposition himself, then asks, very seriously:] Robert, how do you think a person learns to fight?

[Robert repositions himself into something easier for him to sit in - a prim posture, with his legs together - before looking up at Don.

... That is a pretty difficult question for a Terran, of all people, to answer.]

... Well... p-presumably someone would have to teach it, as with... any other physical skill...

[... There are instincts to go off of, but... in Robert's case, they've been dulled significantly.]

How would they teach it?

[Rather pathetically:] I am... not certain. Coaching drills of some sort...? Understanding of basic principles behind the physics involved? [... sigh, Robert.]

[He'll help you out a little.] They're called katas. Movement patterns. [Now you fill in the next part.]

... I suppose that includes... learning how to hit something? [Robert actually winces as he says that.]

Learning how to throw a punch, yes.

... I see... [Robert sort of folds up a little bit. His mentality is fighting him every step of the way on this.]

And this is... e-ethically acceptable, for the sake of learning?

[Don has to ponder this for a while. Training is such a central part of ninjutsu - the only way to learn it - that its acceptability is taken for granted. Bushido certainly states that it's dishonorable to fight dirty in a friendly sparring match, but so far as Don knows the codes nowhere state that katas and sparring, in and of themselves, are ethically permissible activities.]

Well... yes. Diligent practice is a virtue.

[Robert notices this rather long pause before the answer. It's... interesting. This is not a discussion he would have ever been able to - or even would have wanted to - have on Terra; likewise, he suspects this conversation is not one Don would've found himself having often.]

... On Terra, any harm is... unacceptable, for any reason.

There... there would be no difference, what it was for. The mere fact that it happened alone is... unjustifiable.

[Quickly, as an addition:] I know things are different here. I know Terra's mindset is... not the norm. [Not common. Perhaps not even entirely sane.] But... but... [It is part of me.]

[Don doesn't know what to say to this. He can't deny that sparring can be harmful - it results not just in bruises and scrapes, but sometimes in serious injuries. He has scars from it. Still...]

Really? Even if, by hurting the person, you're helping them?

Yes. [The answer is quick and perhaps a little too decisive.] Though such a situation seems... rare to begin with, but...

[... Fresh from Terra, Robert's mindset was such that he would have stood there and let someone die, right in front of him.]

... It is why, if... if I went home, I would be... a criminal.

[Don is completely downcast at this answer. He almost can't imagine such a world. A place where people are prevented from learning self-defense, where practicing such a thing is a crime? The people there may have a right to bodily integrity, but what good is it when they have no means of protecting that right? Don is entirely in favor of a "do no harm" rule, but at the same time he appreciates being able to incapacitate people who don't adhere to the same code.]

Robert... do you think I'm a criminal?

[In a world where the slightest show of violence is so overly stigmatized that people with anger disorders routinely self-injure and even commit suicide out of shame... well, there isn't a lot of people who go against it.

... Of course, that isn't good for a species whose aggression is a normal part of its mentality.]

...

I would have, if... if all I knew was that you fought. [Softly, shamefully.] But everybody here would be. Everybody. I have not met a single other person who does not fight.

[That's hurtful. How could he not have known Robert felt this way?]

Fighting isn't evil, Robert. It's just a skill.

[Because Robert will abandon his principles if it means somebody might like him. Because Don means more to Robert than his own home.]

I know that now.

... I did not before.

[His gaze goes distant.] ... It is difficult to be... so alone in this regard.

[Don understands. Of his family, the only people he knew, he was by far the most reticent to learn to fight. It took him a long time to make his peace with the necessity of it.]

[As gently as possible:] If you want to learn self-defense, you have to be willing to spar. I don't know any other way.

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