Luceti Appointments

[i_speak_softly]

Need a thread with Don, but don't have a post for it and don't feel like starting one? Stick it here. Please note date, time of day, location, and any relevant circumstances.

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[i_speak_softly]

[Don just shakes his head - to him, this doesn't even qualify as an injury - and tries not to get irritated with his partner's hovering. Robert has a different scale for these things, after all.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Indeed. And naturally, Don gets the worst of Robert's attentions - especially now.]

... Whenever you are... up to it, I would be g-glad to read to you...

[He tries a little cheerful smile, an attempt to raise Don's spirits.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Something about all of this is kind of grating, though Don can't put his finger on why. He considers telling Robert to go away, but the book does sound interesting, and he doesn't want to lose the opportunity.]

[He slides to the floor to work through some slow stretches, and gestures for Robert to go ahead.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Oblivious as usual to the effect he's having on Don, Robert just flips the textbook open and leafs through its pages until he arrives at the introduction.]

"The real world is exceedingly complex: one goal of an engineer... is to be able to model or simulate the real world in such a way that the actual device need not be fabricated, but that the device may be... simulated using computer programs."

[His reading is fairly steady, at the least?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don likes how Robert reads. He puts the vague sense of irritation out of his mind, and listens.]

[semper_cogitans]

[That's good, because he's going to be hearing a lot of Robert's voice.

A few paragraphs pass this way, with Robert reading at a steady pace, a not-quite-monotone; he doesn't inflect much, but luckily it's not a huge loss with this sort of writing.

But of course, there has to be an issue.]

"The process of approximating the real world through simulation is given in Figure 1. It shows an overview of how the real world is... approximated using mathematical models which are implemented using various algorithms on a computer, which then take measurements from the real world... to simulate the real world, producing a hopefully appropriate approximation of the real world."

[Robert pauses here, and frowns. Is the figure something Don could read?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don raises his brows. Is Robert going to show him the diagram? He would lean forward, but he's already doing so, his fingers curled over his toes.]

[semper_cogitans]

[After an awkward moment, during which Robert is actively considering whether this is a good idea, he turns the book around so that Don can see the figure in question.]

... Can you... r-read this, Don?

[Yes, this is probably coming off incredibly poorly. Even Robert is vaguely aware of how awkward this is, but how else can he ask?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Well, crud. He can see that this diagram is showing how things relate to other things, but at a quick glance he can read none of the words.]

No...

[semper_cogitans]

[... Okay. Robert can work with this, maybe.]

Erm... I... I can read it to you, then.

[He tilts the book so that he can see the diagram himself and begins to list parts for Don's benefit.]

This says... "implementation".

[i_speak_softly]

[Implementation. Got it. Don pokes Robert's finger towards the next word.]

[semper_cogitans]

"Simulation". [Robert takes the opportunity to list the next few in turn, gesturing to them as it seems to help.] "Approximation" and "poor approximation", r-respectively... erm, and then... "reality", and "model", and "measurements" there, in the centre...

... Does that... help?

[i_speak_softly]

[Don takes a moment to rebuild the diagram in his mind, seeing how the concepts fit together. Then he nods. Please continue.]

[semper_cogitans]

[The rest of the introduction goes smoothly enough; there aren't any diagrams to complicate matters, and Robert can immerse himself in the odd joy of reading to his partner, recreating concepts in a way that he can follow.

The problem resurfaces, however, when he begins the Error Analysis chapter.]

... Hrm, there is a formula here... might it be, er, an i-issue to follow...?

[i_speak_softly]

[Exasperated:] Ronald.

[semper_cogitans]

[... Whelp.]

... Er... yes?

[Hesitating on the book's page, Robert glances back over at Don.]

[i_speak_softly]

[Frustrated, but also sad:] I'm not striped. I just can't - [He gestures at the book.] - do that.

[semper_cogitans]

[Not striped, what does he mean - what is a similar word to 'striped', I cannot possibly imagine how his stripes have anything to do with this -

He bites his lip, glances at Don, glances back at the book... takes another few seconds, and then... abandons the attempt in favour of bluntness.]

I realize you... c-cannot read the book w-well. That is not your fault, I just... [He shakes his head a little, more out of frustration that somehow he seems to be saying something wrong again, and then resumes -] ... I just n-need to know whether I should say it for you.

[i_speak_softly]

[Robert, why are you erring on the side of assuming Don can't understand? Don is disappointed and hurt, and he doesn't want to do this anymore.]

[He swivels away, hunching his shoulders.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Well, he's definitely gone and mucked something up here. Closing the book quietly, Robert places it to the side.

Then he glances over at Don, frowning with a look of pitiful confusion written all over his face. Where did I make a mistake this time?]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don doesn't know what to do. Trying to explain himself will likely lead to more frustration for both of them, but if he leaves then Robert won't understand what happened and there will be hurt feelings all around. He hates this but doesn't know how to fix any of it.]

[semper_cogitans]

[All Robert knows right now is that he's doing something upsetting and he has no idea what it is. This is something that has happened frequently enough for him to recognize it, but it's no less painful as a result.

Almost gingerly:] ... D-Don...?

[i_speak_softly]

[The slightest turn of his head. He can't talk, but he's listening.]

[semper_cogitans]

[That slight turn isn't very encouraging, but it's better than talking at the back of Don's head. Maybe. Robert's still not sure with this one.]

... If... if I s-said something wrong... [Think, Robert. It is not as if he can inform you of what, presently.] ... I... I do not mean to harm. Perhaps that... matters l-little, though. [He knits his fingers, wrings them gently together; doesn't know where to put them after so just keeps his hands in his lap.] ... I admit that... communication has never been my s-strong suit, even without your... present condition...

[And, well, there's that unspoken part, that not-put-into-words discomfort with something like this - something his Terran prejudices tell him is something that needs to be fixed. A problem. A detriment.]

[i_speak_softly]

[It's not about communication. It's about Robert's failure to understand what Don does and doesn't need, even after all his research.]

[Don feels trapped and helpless: he can't do anything useful, and yet he can't leave.]