i_speak_softly | Seventieth Theory [Video]

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Seventieth Theory [Video]

Hello, everyone. My name is Donatello. I was just like the majority of you here in the village, until a -- an incident I cannot speak of turned me into what I am today. I have become accustomed to this form, though it does present certain obstacles in dealing with a human-centered world.

Fortunately, I have an incredible talent for creating inventions both useful and aesthetically-pleasing. [Here, the video shows some objects of indeterminate purpose, which appear to be made primarily out of gears, wires, and brass.] Due to certain circumstances, I have heretofore not been able to use this talent to benefit others, but now I am able to offer my services in developing assistive technologies for the non-human members of our community.

I am also available to fulfill requests from humans, although non-humans will be served first due to their obvious superiority. [...] I mean, their greater need.

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How refreshingly reasonable. Hopefully I'll have selected one by the time you impose this on every human.

I can't make any guarantees, but I will certainly try to honor all requests.

And please don't think of it as imposing. After all, it's for their own good.

A parent may impose their rules on a child, and call it for their own good, and yet it is still imposing one's will upon another.

If someone were to select an avian, would they have functional flight-capable wings I wonder? Or would the weight of a humanoid size be simply too great to get off the ground?

[Perhaps oddly, the professor doesn't sound disturbed by any of this. Maybe he's just weighing it as a thought experiment.]

But, you see, it will soon be their will as well.

Who said you would still be of humanoid size?

I'd rather not have to acquire a completely new wardrobe if at all possible, so with luck I'll find something that allows me to stay roughly in the same height and weight range. This wouldn't work so well with a bird phenotype I suppose.

It depends on the individual. Complex calculations are necessary for even a rough guess at the outcome, so I couldn't tell you what form might suit your requirements.

Are there other examples besides yourself that one might use as comparison? If there's a species that regularly produces roughly the same result, it might be a good baseline.

I would gladly provide references, but I guarantee each of my clients total confidentiality. You understand, of course.

Ah, but if they're not in Luceti, and their names aren't provided, they'll still be quite anonymous. Their confidentiality remains!

I'm sorry, it's simply impossible.

[And yet, as he speaks, the camera shifts to capture an image of a row of folders - medical charts? - each clearly marked with the name of one of Donatello's "clients".]

[The sudden addition of video to what has til now been an audio feed is exceptionally interesting, and there's a bit of a delay as Alba carefully copies down what names he could actually read.]

Are you certain you won't consider?

[Unseen, the professor steeples his fingers. Well, if everyone's being terribly ... dramatic, these past days, he could get away with it, surely. After all, what's a little blackmail to these people? There's only the slightest shifts of tone, from friendly and curious to something a little more dangerous. If anyone ever just oozed 'snake', this guy would definitely be it.]

It would be a shame if your client list were to ... get out into public, wouldn't it? All those people, trusting you to stay silent. Trusting you to build a better future as a new species. What might happen to them if people found out before they were safely superior..?

[Snake would be an interesting choice.]

Are you threatening me, sir?

Not at all. Merely offering a mutually beneficial alternative. A few examples of your work in trade for the continued faith of your clients, a mere trifle surely.

[It is a bit alarming to remember that there's an entire town full of people acting like this all the time right now.]

[The necessity of Drama forces Don to take the bait.]

Might we meet privately? In person?

As you'd like. As a show of good faith, I'll even allow you to choose the location. After all, we're all friends here, aren't we?

Of course. Behind the bar, at sundown?

Certainly. I hope you don't mind if I bring a light with me, it gets so gloomy after dark. I will see you then.

That will be fine, so long as your light still allows for mood-setting shadows.

[This requirement issued, Don signs off to await sunset.]

[What a strange request.]

Very well.

[Hours pass. The professor gets into things while waiting, little for Donatello to be concerned about. But sundown does eventually roll around, and thus he sets off, a flashlight tucked neatly into his jacket pocket for when the light was too dim to be of any use.

He's nothing menacing to look at when he does arrive behind the bar precisely as the sun sinks behind the horizon. It is in fact a little too dark back there for human eyes only even at twilight and after a moment he switches on his flashlight, but keeps it pointed at the ground. Such oblique lighting casts interesting shadows in all directions.

Now to wait.]

[But not too dark for NINJA EYES. Don melts dramatically out of the gloom to address the professor.]

It seems we have much to discuss.

[The professor does not have gloom to hide in, or step out of or slide into, so he doesn't. He pushes his glasses up his nose and regards the eyes in the dark - and then the turtle that emerges.]

It seems so. With some luck we may come up with a resolution that's ... mutually beneficial.

[Don shifts his duffel bag, so the professor can see the corners of the folders within.]

What assurances can you give me in exchange for these?

My absolute silence. I after all, am not going to stand in the way of anything that improves mankind. [Oddly enough, he sounds like he means it. Or maybe not oddly enough, given Luceti..] Humans haven't exactly had a good track record in any world on their own, have they?

[The professor's smile is benign, as he spreads his hands, flashlight cutting a dramatic arc across the gloom in the doing.]

Of course I'll also give you the list I wrote down. My memory is terrible, without having it in writing I won't remember your ... clients for long.

They certainly have not.

What do you intend to do with the information in these charts?

[Opportunity for monologue get?]

[There might be slight disappointment - for the professor is not affected as others in Luceti are; he'd simply seized upon a rare moment of opportunity. But there's a bit of monologue.]

Read it, of course. [His eyebrows rise sharply.] If you truly intend to turn every human being into a hybrid human-animal crossbreed, then having all available information on previous subjects and most importantly what could go wrong is of vital importance.

[There's another of those gestures, brief and sharp.] As much as I'd like to say you seem to have it all under control, one man .. or one turtle in this case, is unlikely to succeed in such a goal without at least someone to check his work for possible flaws and waiting disasters. As changes to the body are unlikely to sully the soul, what becomes of the flesh is irrelevant unless what it becomes is a pile of biological goo because someone didn't dot an I.

[It seems awfully common sense. Clearly it's a trick.]

Besides which, it might be useful if I can keep such knowledge when I return home.

[Aha!]

Seventieth Theory [Video]

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[Action] Sorry for delay. ;o;

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