i_speak_softly | Thirty-Fifth Theory [Voice]

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Thirty-Fifth Theory [Voice]

[Donatello has been 98.7% certain that this rather bizarre experiment has passed him by, as he remained snug and warm in House 55, in accordance with the semi-natural hibernal habits of mutated terrapins. As he reflects on the past few days, though, he notices that the frequency with which his brothers have been informing him that he is spouting excessive quantities of facts and data is statistically unprecedented. He decides to test a theory.]

Someone ask me a question.

((Don's effect is that he's even more of a super-brain than usual. Please test the mun's research abilities.))

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Anything? Uhhh, let's see...

[ elena taps her fingers against the back cover of her book for a moment or two as she thinks, then a question occurs to her. ]

Okay, this is kind of ridiculous, but I'm assuming you mean anything, so here goes: when was shampoo invented?

Edited 2011-01-27 19:50 (UTC)

It depends what you mean by shampoo. Humans have been using various plant extracts on their hair since antiquity.

Well, what's the first thing we used to do that?

The very first? [A long pause.] I don't know.

Hmm...okay, I can think of something else. How many dialects of the French language are there?

Let's see... Parisian or "standard" French, a difficult-to-determine number of dialects used elsewhere in the country, Belgian French, Swiss French, the Aostan French of Italy, at least two distinct Canadian dialects, a few other dialects spoken in former French colonies, and quite a number of French-derived creoles, if you think those count. So... many.

Edited 2011-01-28 02:24 (UTC)

Wow. So, what's the dialect that's taught in high schools?

[ why yes, she does take it. ]

Standard, typically. It's kind of an oddly controlled language...

Oddly taught, too. At least the way my teacher teaches it.

How so? [He's never studied a foreign language.]

She'd show us French movies, sometimes, and try to have us translate certain scenes. I'm not sure how she got some of them past the school board.

Um - [He turns interesting colors.] I think the rating system is different in France.

[ she laughs - not that she can see him changing colors. ] Makes sense. The drinking age is younger, too.

[ pause. ] My name's Elena, by the way. I don't think I introduced myself.

And they have topless beaches. [... Where did that come from? He tries to put the image out of his head.]

I'm Donatello.

[ more laughing. ] That they do, evidently. Not that I've ever been to France.

Nice to meet you, Donatello. [ pause. wait, is he that donatello? caroline mentioned that there were ninja turtles here, but she doesn't want to be rude and ask flat-out. ]

Me neither. [Though there was that naked incident in the plaza a few months ago.]

And likewise.

So, why are you taking questions? If you don't mind my asking.

To see if I know the answers.

So you're seeing if you're Luceti's answer to Wikipedia?

Something like that.

How's it going so far?

A pattern of results begins to emerge.

Should I ask another question?

If you wouldn't mind.

No problem. Ummm...What year was pizza invented?

[ is she trolling? maybe. but it was also the first thing that came to mind. ]

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