i_speak_softly | Luceti Appointments

[Robert lets Don take his hand without complaint, looking up at him almost fearfully as Don kneads the soft, pliant skin under his thumbs. Nothing was even remotely injured - Robert didn't hit hard enough - but it's still soothing and a little reassuring.]

...

You want me to hit you...? Why?

[His tone is disbelieving. Robert can understand the idea of hitting somebody who would hurt him, but... Don? That's his partner! His partner who is worth more than anything else. Why should he ever deserve to be hit?]

[That is one expression that Robert has rarely, if ever, levelled at Don - and Don does not like it one bit.]

Haven't you noticed what Leo and I do in here?

[... To be fair, Robert doesn't like making it.]

I didn't think you hit each other... [Other objects, yes, but...

... Yeah, you need to explain the concept of friendly sparring, Don.]

Erm... [His fingers still.] It's more like full-contact sparring.

[... "Full-contact sparring"...

Robert awkwardly half-smiles, the expression wavering between discomfort and almost affection.]

... I... suppose that is rather common in your family then...?

... But why? ... With all this equipment...

[He shrugs, releasing Robert's hand.] We've always done it. Equipment doesn't teach you how to fight a person.

[After a moment:] And... you wanted to do this with me...?

[He's still trying to fathom the concept of consensually hitting somebody else. Give him a moment.]

Yes. [The tone of his voice might convey just how much he wants to.] I want to spar with you and sleep with you and speak to you in Japanese. I want you to be part of the family.

[It's interesting... he's never really been part of his own family, not for years... so why is it easier to contemplate it with the Hamatos, a family so drastically different from his own that it almost boggles the mind?

Maybe because it's Don's family. Maybe he's been alone such a long time that being asked to be part of something is... welcoming.]

... Being part of your family does sound... gratifying.

[He makes a quiet, thoughtful sound.]

... Of course, I am not so certain if the others feel the same way... even if I am to do these things, it hardly guarantees my acceptance...

[He doesn't sound like he's rejecting the idea out of hand - it's more like quietly musing aloud.]

They'll appreciate it, I promise. ... Well, the first one, at least.

... Well... [Awkwardly:] I... suppose I can try, at the least...

[... The unspoken part is that it's not going to be easy.]

[Oh, Don knows it won't be easy. But he wasn't completely disheartened by the results of his experiment. It's a good sign.]

It means a lot to me, Robert. What you just did.

... It does...? [Robert does smile slightly at this. Being able to please Don is a good thing.

... Yeah, still alarming. Robert's just like that.]

I... must confess I have... difficulty understanding why...

Because... [What words can he use for this?] It's a trust thing.

... A trust thing? [Well, Robert does want to show that he trusts Don.] ... How is that, Don?

[He makes an agitated gesture - you ask difficult questions.] How am I supposed to trust you if you won't punch me?

[...

... That logic died somewhere.]

... Would it not be easier to trust me if I did not punch you...?

No! Because then I don't have anything to -- [He turns and punches the sandbag in frustration.] Robert, I need you to understand this!

[Actual anger. Caused by him. Robert shrinks away as though Don had punched him instead of the bag, cringing inward defensively.]

I'm sorry...

[He curls his fists to his chest, and controls himself. Anger won't solve this.]

Please stop doing that...

... D-Doing what?

[The cringing thing? Because that's sort of reflexive. Still, Robert is... relaxing, minutely.

But there is still a look of anxiety about him, something that suggests he's suddenly hyperaware - or as much as he can be - of Don's irritation.]

You aren't being honest with me.

But... [Robert makes some soft sound of sadness and what might almost be his own frustration.] I am honest. I am sorry that I cannot understand...

[Terran mentality pressing down on him makes this concept extremely difficult to wrap his head around.]

[Fair point. Don turns back around, crossing his arms to keep his hands occupied.]

Why don't you want to do this?

[Hearing Robert's reasons might help him organize his own thinking.]

[This is going to be hard to explain... Robert attempts to stumble through the rhetoric.]

... Inflicting harm, of any kind, for... a reason that is not e-explicitly to protect myself...

... I am your partner. I have a responsibility to treat you well, at all times, and you additionally have... a right to bodily integrity. You... you do not deserve to be hit...

... But, also, it is... needless harm. If I do not need to defend myself from you, what reason is there possibly to hit you?

[... He's having trouble divesting the "hitting people in a friendly way/positive context" from actual attacking.]

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