i_speak_softly | Luceti Appointments

How - why - ... Don, how could I do that?!

[Robert honestly looks genuinely terrified that Don is asking him to do this.]

The same way you just punched the bag. [He makes a kind of belligerent swagger, pantomiming being an enemy.] It can't be unethical to punch someone who asks you to do it.

[He will apologize profusely for this later. He has a good reason, really.]

B-But... [Robert just blinks in blank, frightened confusion.] You are my partner... how can I injure you for any reason...?

[The fact Don explicitly asked him to do it means that Don seems to encourage it, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it's hitting the person he loves...

He wrings his hands against his chest.]

Robert. [Don leans forward, and maybe a little over, given his height advantage, and taps his plastron.] Turtle. [He takes Robert's hands, stops the wringing, and folds one into a fist.] Try not to bruise your knuckles.

[And Robert just sort of lets his arms go limp, lets Don manipulate the fingers at his leisure, and just... stares.]

... Even if I do not injure you... it would be hitting you...

[Sorry, Don. He's just... clinging to this idea now because... really? Hurting Don?]

... why do you want me to hit you of all people?

Is there someone else you'd like to hit? [He does the absolute worst version of "bob and weave" he can manage, challenging Robert to throw that punch.]

No - I ... [Robert trails off, looking for all the world like a little helpless child being forced to give a presentation or something against his will.

Squeezing his eyes shut so that he doesn't actually have to watch his hand connect with his lover's smooth plastron, he makes some really pathetic, clearly-half-hearted attempt at a jab that is more like a glancing tap with his knuckles than anything, probably barely enough for Don to feel.

Then he kind of backs away and stares at the back of his hand with a look of poignant, almost-teary-eyed shame.]

[Robert, you have officially impressed your partner. He didn't think you would go through with it. His demeanor changes instantly.]

Are you hurt?

[Well, it's a good thing that somebody's impressed by it, because Robert is distraught.]

... N-No... but... [He gnaws his bottom lip profusely, staring down at his hand still as though it betrayed him.]

...

... I hit you...

I'm fine... [He brushes away some nonexistent dirt from his plastron, then takes Robert's hand again, kneading it with his thumbs.] Robert, I want to be able to do this with you. Do you hate it that much?

[Robert lets Don take his hand without complaint, looking up at him almost fearfully as Don kneads the soft, pliant skin under his thumbs. Nothing was even remotely injured - Robert didn't hit hard enough - but it's still soothing and a little reassuring.]

...

You want me to hit you...? Why?

[His tone is disbelieving. Robert can understand the idea of hitting somebody who would hurt him, but... Don? That's his partner! His partner who is worth more than anything else. Why should he ever deserve to be hit?]

[That is one expression that Robert has rarely, if ever, levelled at Don - and Don does not like it one bit.]

Haven't you noticed what Leo and I do in here?

[... To be fair, Robert doesn't like making it.]

I didn't think you hit each other... [Other objects, yes, but...

... Yeah, you need to explain the concept of friendly sparring, Don.]

Erm... [His fingers still.] It's more like full-contact sparring.

[... "Full-contact sparring"...

Robert awkwardly half-smiles, the expression wavering between discomfort and almost affection.]

... I... suppose that is rather common in your family then...?

... But why? ... With all this equipment...

[He shrugs, releasing Robert's hand.] We've always done it. Equipment doesn't teach you how to fight a person.

[After a moment:] And... you wanted to do this with me...?

[He's still trying to fathom the concept of consensually hitting somebody else. Give him a moment.]

Yes. [The tone of his voice might convey just how much he wants to.] I want to spar with you and sleep with you and speak to you in Japanese. I want you to be part of the family.

[It's interesting... he's never really been part of his own family, not for years... so why is it easier to contemplate it with the Hamatos, a family so drastically different from his own that it almost boggles the mind?

Maybe because it's Don's family. Maybe he's been alone such a long time that being asked to be part of something is... welcoming.]

... Being part of your family does sound... gratifying.

[He makes a quiet, thoughtful sound.]

... Of course, I am not so certain if the others feel the same way... even if I am to do these things, it hardly guarantees my acceptance...

[He doesn't sound like he's rejecting the idea out of hand - it's more like quietly musing aloud.]

They'll appreciate it, I promise. ... Well, the first one, at least.

... Well... [Awkwardly:] I... suppose I can try, at the least...

[... The unspoken part is that it's not going to be easy.]

[Oh, Don knows it won't be easy. But he wasn't completely disheartened by the results of his experiment. It's a good sign.]

It means a lot to me, Robert. What you just did.

... It does...? [Robert does smile slightly at this. Being able to please Don is a good thing.

... Yeah, still alarming. Robert's just like that.]

I... must confess I have... difficulty understanding why...

Because... [What words can he use for this?] It's a trust thing.

... A trust thing? [Well, Robert does want to show that he trusts Don.] ... How is that, Don?

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